With a Little Help From Your Friends

Some people just plain struggle with the art of social interaction known as dating. This could be the result of shyness or awkwardness, or they could simply be less attractive than the average person. Whatever the reason, when folks have a hard time getting a date – or, more important, a second date – with someone, they may turn to their friends or relatives to “set them up” with someone.

Flying Blind

Sometimes these fix-ups take place unsolicited, as their loved ones feel obligated (out of a sense of duty, or pity, or both) to play matchmaker. This is almost always motivated by nothing short of the best of intentions. While it can be a good way for people to meet who might otherwise have never crossed each other’s paths, it can also be a disaster from the get-go, as the matchmaker’s perspective on two people’s personalities could be completely wrong.

High Expectations, High Pressure

One of the problems with being set up with someone is the expectations involved. Neither person wants to let their matchmaker friend (or relative) down by being a bad date. That’s exactly the kind of pressure that one doesn’t need as one tries to put his or her best foot forward when meeting someone new. If it doesn’t work out, the likelihood of another such arranged meeting drops dramatically, and can lead to hurt feelings all the way around.

Dating should be approached with a great deal of relaxation, not anxiety, and should be based on the most comfortable of circumstances and surroundings. Otherwise, neither person will be able to present themselves as much more than a book cover, with unseen friends or family breathing down their necks even when they aren’t present. When it comes to dating, the do-it-yourself approach (however difficult that may seem) is almost always the best way to go.

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